lamelohan:

me when i was little: why do i have to eat everything on the plate??

now : um can i have like 3… more plates…

“capitalism…?? i think u mean CRAPitalism am i right ladies”

karl marx probably (via dimestorepoet)

(Source: ghoulinski)

poopflow:

you put the condom on your dick
but you don’t actually do any fucking
it’s a metaphor
I can’t get laid

seedy:

what do u mean “4 minute shower” it takes me 4 minutes to get the water to the right temperature smh